Dear Prince Charming,
Last week, I went to a sports bar by my house. I normally don't frequent sports bars except for during futbol season when I take every chance I get to see Cristiano Ronaldo looking fabulous, but my friends lured me in with promises of serious eye candy. Don't worry, you're still on top of my list, but a girl's gotta keep herself entertained somehow.
I was standing by the bar when a group of rowdy guys came up to order drinks. As they pick up their beers, one of them turns to the others and announces, with arms open wide and a booming voice, "Let's go find some hoes!".
Do you see what I have to work with??
I'm not sure how much longer I can take this, Prince Charming. Can we fast-forward to the day when I buy a one-way ticket and you meet me at the airport. I'll drop my bags and run towards you, arms outstretched as you catch me and twirl me around (see: no chocolate rule). Can we skip all the in-between dating, heartbreak and desperation? I'd just like my Happily Ever After please. Sooner, not later.