14 April, 2011



"Once the initial madness of desire has passed and we are faced with each other as dimwitted mortal fools, how is it that any of us find the ability to love and forgive each other at all, much less enduringly?

Felipe didn't answer for a long time. Then he said, "When I used to go down to Brazil to buy gemstones, I would often buy something they call 'a parcel.' A parcel is this random collection of gems that the miner or wholesaler or whoever is bullshitting you puts together. A typical parcel would contain, I don't know, maybe twenty or thirty aquamarines at once. Supposedly, you get a better deal that way - buying them all in a bunch - but you would have to be careful, because of course the guy is trying to rip you off. He's trying to unload his bad gemstones on you by packaging them together with a few really good ones.

" So when I first started in the jewelry business," Felipe went on, "I used to get in trouble because I'd get too excited about the one or two perfect aquamarines in the parcel, and I wouldn't pay as much attention to the junk they threw in there. After I got burned enough times, I finally got wise and learned this: You have to ignore the perfect gemstones. Don't even look at them twice because they are blinding. Just put them away and have a careful look at the really bad stones. Look at them for a long time, and then ask yourself honestly, 'Can I work with these? Can I make something out of this?' Otherwise, you've just spent a whole lot of money on one or two gorgeous aquamarines buried inside a big heap of worthless crap.

"It's the same with relationships, I think. People always fall in love with the most perfect of each other's personalities. Who wouldn't? Anyone can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that's not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at you partner's faults honestly and say, 'I can work around that. I can make something out of that'? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it's always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you."

"What I'm trying to say, darling, is that I've been watching you carefully for a long time already, and I believe I can accept the whole parcel."

- From Commiteed, by Elizabeth Gilbert ( a book every. single. one. of you, committed or not, should read)


Claire said...

Wow. I just had an "aha" moment. The idea here is something I completely agree with. I feel like Elizabeth Gilbert snuck into my dreams and took this from me. I wonder how many other people reverberate to this idea?

I never thought I'd say this, but I am going to give Elizabeth Gilbert a try.


The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Oh that's lovely. And so true!! Yes, I will have to give her a try, because those few paragraphs were perfect :)

magdalena viktoria said...

I loved this book!
And you chose such a great, important passage to share. Felipe's totally right--the good stuff will be there, can we accept the flaws?

JouJou Loves You said...

Oh! I've wondered if this book is any good!!!

I love your taste...so obviously it IS great. I shall pick it up asap!

And what a NOTION. In the past I've found myself just focusing on the 'shiny, bright, perfectness' of my lovers...then when reality sets in and I see the not so shiny parts I bolt.

I've since learned otherwise....now what I need to decide is if I WANT a relationship. Ahhh conundrums!!!

Love you, miss you!!!

LatteLisa said...

I think I find flaws much more fun than perfection ;-) I don't know, too much perfection sounds dull.

Sienna said...

loved this book, and eat pray love as well. such an amazing story

jillian m. said...

oh, i forgot she wrote that book! after i read eat, pray, love, i told myself that i needed to read committed next (and for one reason or another, that didn't happen). thank you for reminding me! i love gilbert's way with words. i can only aspire to be as good as she is.