31 August, 2011

Eight Fears

1. That I won't accomplish/reach my goals and dreams. Even though I know this fear to be unfounded (because I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make my dreams a reality), the fear of failure still creeps up sometimes. 

2. Not existing. I hope I'll make peace with this one day. But right now, it still terrifies me. 

3. Spiders. Ever since I read that the average human swallows 4 spiders in their sleep, I check all corners of the ceiling before falling asleep. 

4. Being alone at home after dark. Now that I live in an apartment, I don't mind being home by myself. But when I lived with my parents in their big house, I'd turn on all the lights and cringe at every creak of the floors. I blame my obsession with serial killers...I've read so many stories and watched so many movies that any dark corner evokes a small fear. 

5. Skydiving. This is something my man has been asking me to do with him for quite some time. And I just can't bring myself to say yes. What if the parachute doesn't open?? Then we're at #2. 

6. Not being able to see my grandparents again before they pass away. Although it gives me good reason to travel, I hate that my family (other than my immediate family) is all in Europe (Armenia and Latvia, for the most part). I don't see them nearly enough. It is so hard to see them for only two weeks at a time, after two years apart. The distance makes the time go by so much faster, and it seems every time I visit they age more. I pray everyday for their good health, and for the chance to see them many more times. 

7. Not seeing all of the world. There is so much I want to see, so many cities I have yet to see, so much history tucked into every crevice of the world....the thought that we have ONE lifetime to see it all is almost anxiety inducing. And a great incentive (as if I need one) to travel as often as possible. 

8. That after reading these eight fears you'll think I am completely paranoid/a scaredy cat.  I'm not, I promise. But it is scary to put my  fears out there. 

What are your fears? 

24 August, 2011

Happiness, via the Lake House

Last weekend was spent at the lake house with my love's family. I always love being there...not only for the calming scenery, but for the people, especially. I am so lucky to have such wonderful people as part of my "in-law" family....though they have felt like an extension of my own parents and siblings from the very beginning.

We spent the weekend grilling over a fire pit, roasting s'mores, and indulging in scrumptious meals.

Sitting on the patio, a glass of wine in hand -- illuminated by the soft glow of lanterns -- I listened to the laughter and conversation flowing freely around the table and I realized, that is happiness. Having loved ones near, gathering around a table, no matter how elegant or simple, and forming shared memories.

Though I have the most important things in life, I sometimes catch myself placing too much importance on those that I don't yet have.

The lake house serves as a reminder that happiness is not an apartment in Paris, or a high-paying job. Happiness is having friends and family to share the apartment with, and a passion that drives ambition.

Happiness is wherever we choose to find it, and we must look for it in the present.

21 August, 2011

Nine Loves

1. Airports. Because I know when I'm in one, I'm going somewhere. The exception was when my love was living in New York, and airports were the site of tearful goodbyes.

2. Tea. Particularly of the mint variety. And especially Moroccan Mint Tea.

3. Painting. I used to paint quite often and now, when I convince myself to sit in front of the easel and take out my oils, I can get lost for an entire day.

4. Macaroons. Need I say more?

5. The line where the sea/ocean/any body of water meets the horizon. Absolute magic.

6. Autumn. I love crisp, cool breezes, the changing colors, mugs of warm coffee and tea.

7. Cuddling. There are days when I'll attach myself to my love and I won't let go. We'll walk from one room to another, attached to each other......thankfully, he finds it endearing. And somehow my body just melds perfectly into his.

8. Candles. There is no easier way to add warmth, sensuality and romance to a room. Have you every tried a candle lit shower? You'll be amazed at how soothing it is. Have one in the middle of the day to recharge.

9. Brown paper packages tied up with string. I ordered a huge roll of brown wrapping paper and have been obsessed with wrapping things. Combine this with my love of buying and giving gifts...and you'll see why my bank account is in peril.

And now, I'm off to cuddle. Hope you had a lovely weekend!


15 August, 2011

On Life and Blogging

Blogs are such a subjective look into a persons world. We write about inspiration, about our loves, our desires, our travels. But what we write is not who we are, it is simply a small glimpse.

When I write, I write for myself but, also, for my readers. And because of this, I tend to write lightly, joyfully, sensuously. I try to avoid writing when I'm in a foul mood, and I don't often divulge the problems in my life, or the frustrations.

Lately, I've read a few posts that discuss this dichotimy - the life we portray in blogs, and that which we live, everyday. And I've come to the conclusion that us bloggers aren't required to divulge the details of our lives, we have no obligation to our readers to explain who we are.

I've read quite a few blogs that began intimately, and then became more and more "commercialized" as the readership has grown. And while I believe every blogger is entitled to his/her style, I hope to keep this blog intimate. Because when I look back on almost three years (!!) of posts, it still feels as if I'm reading my personal diary, with the added bonus of your amazing comments.

I'm not sure what I"m trying to say here - just musing, I suppose. And for anyone who feels judged by anonymous commentators, or the pressure from the "blog world" to gain readers and monetize blogging, stay true to who you are, and always keep your blog as a reflection of YOUR ambitions and desires.

In other news, I'm spending the next two days at the lake house with my love and my {future} in-laws. Elaborate breakfasts, lake-side walks, starry night skies.....I love being here.

Happy Monday!

11 August, 2011

Indulge Me

I can't stop staring at my ring. It catches the light so beautifully, and rests so naturally on my finger. It has quickly become my favorite photography subject. I couldn't resist showing it off --please indulge this moment of vanity!

My love said the ring-finding/designing-process gave him grey hairs. Well, it all worked out because I LOVE the ring, and I LOVE a man with salt & pepper hair ;) Specifically, the man that put this ring on my finger.

In other news, the Beauty Giveaway Winner is lovely Allison!!

(All you bloggers who have done giveaways, how do you copy the winner's comment and the number generated into a post? I've tried to do it but it looks so messy!)

Congrats, girl! Keep an eye on your inbox, I'll be e-mailing you! Thank you, everyone, for entering. There will be another one soon!

09 August, 2011

He Asked....

.....and I answered, YES.

To a lifetime together, to butterfly kisses, to a shoulder to rest, cry, and lean on.

To decades and decades of future memories, to making a family together.

YES to having a hand to hold when skipping over the bumps in the road.

To silly nicknames, tickle fests and cooking mishaps.

YES to falling asleep next to each other every night, and waking up to indulge in a new day together.

To sunrises and sunsets and everything in between.

He asked, would I be his wife? I answered, YES.

04 August, 2011


Meet Julik (short for Julien). He is my friend's dog, and lived with us when we were roommates (and only cemented my conviction never to have a pet in the house). I love his little fat wrinkles.

The other day, a friend and I stopped by the farmer's market to pick up some organic dog food for Julik and dinner for us. One of the vendors was an older man from Nice, France. We overheard him speaking English and caught his accent right away. Of course, we had no choice but to creepishly make our way to his stall and pretend to be interested in olives while he finished helping his customer.

He turned on the charm immediately, as French men tend to do. Although in this one case, it was a bit much. He began by comparing my friend to his ex-wife (she looks exactly like her, apparently). He told her she was "a tiny, skinny, little thing, just like my wife"....and then he glanced my way as if to say "but YOU,mademoiselle, are not" In my defense, I'm 5'9 and I've got curves -- and my friend is 5'4 and petite. Then he proceeded to say what a shame it was that he couldn't take us to dinner afterwards as he had another farmer's market to attend.

Something tells me we would have declined, anyhow.

We did end up buying a container of Nicoise olives....and they were delicious. As was the home-made apple cider. I wish Farmers Markets could be around year-round.

03 August, 2011


I want to hear raucous music, to see faces, to brush against bodies, to drink fiery Benedictine. Beautiful women and handsome men arouse fierce desires in me. I want to dance. I want drugs. I want to know perverse people, to be intimate with them. I never look at naive faces. I want to bite into life, and to be torn by it.
Henry and June by Anais Nin

It never ceases to amaze me what a way with words she had. Her unapologetic passion for life in all its excess is simply amazing.

02 August, 2011

Live the language - Paris

I'm sure many of you have already seen this. I have, too, but I just had to re-post it. I'm in love.

P.S. If you haven't already, don't forget to enter the Giveaway!