31 August, 2011

Eight Fears

1. That I won't accomplish/reach my goals and dreams. Even though I know this fear to be unfounded (because I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make my dreams a reality), the fear of failure still creeps up sometimes. 

2. Not existing. I hope I'll make peace with this one day. But right now, it still terrifies me. 

3. Spiders. Ever since I read that the average human swallows 4 spiders in their sleep, I check all corners of the ceiling before falling asleep. 

4. Being alone at home after dark. Now that I live in an apartment, I don't mind being home by myself. But when I lived with my parents in their big house, I'd turn on all the lights and cringe at every creak of the floors. I blame my obsession with serial killers...I've read so many stories and watched so many movies that any dark corner evokes a small fear. 

5. Skydiving. This is something my man has been asking me to do with him for quite some time. And I just can't bring myself to say yes. What if the parachute doesn't open?? Then we're at #2. 

6. Not being able to see my grandparents again before they pass away. Although it gives me good reason to travel, I hate that my family (other than my immediate family) is all in Europe (Armenia and Latvia, for the most part). I don't see them nearly enough. It is so hard to see them for only two weeks at a time, after two years apart. The distance makes the time go by so much faster, and it seems every time I visit they age more. I pray everyday for their good health, and for the chance to see them many more times. 

7. Not seeing all of the world. There is so much I want to see, so many cities I have yet to see, so much history tucked into every crevice of the world....the thought that we have ONE lifetime to see it all is almost anxiety inducing. And a great incentive (as if I need one) to travel as often as possible. 

8. That after reading these eight fears you'll think I am completely paranoid/a scaredy cat.  I'm not, I promise. But it is scary to put my  fears out there. 

What are your fears? 


Allison said...

I think all these fears are completely logical - and what we're afraid of is so personal, so I commend you for posting about it!
Ugh, my parents house is really big and terrifying. I'm home alone ALL the time, and I set the alarm to the highest possible setting (and always forget, and set it off myself). Watching Criminal Minds does not even help one bit, but I just can't stop watching (and scaring the crap out of myself in the process). Glad I'm not alone!
#6 really resonated with me as well - it actually made me feel blessed that even though I'm having a tough time with the loss of Poppy, I was able to spend so much time with him and learn so much about him. I hope you get the chance to go visit all your relatives (and then you can cover #6 and #7 at one time!).
Really though, this post made me adore you even more than I already did. You're so honest, and very articulate with expressing yourself!

Alissa said...

I found listing my 'eight fears' surprisingly scary too. But I can relate to each and every one of yours, particularly the one about not getting to see every part of this lovely world in one lifetime. Thank you for sharing!

Katie said...

I agree with so many of these, especially spiders (AHH) and not getting see all of the world.x o

Sonja said...

Haha I like #8 . Gosh this is a hard 10 day challange. So interesting to read though. I think a lot of these I can relate with .

Amanda said...

EEEK such a tough question to answer. I guess I'm afraid of scorpions (I had a dream that I died because I was stung by a scorpion). I don't know what else I'm afraid of. I guess mostly not being happy. Great post though!